Proofreading is a dying art

Received in my email:

Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day..

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No kidding, really? Ya think?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!

War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!

And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?

David's final match at the ITA tournament. He took GOLD

David is on the left. Note: At colored belt level physical contact does not need to be made to get a point. You just have to get close.

Bryar arrives

Bryar Mckinley Ashby arrived in the world on October 17, 2009 at 7:47 am. She weighed 8 lbs 3 oz and was 20.5 inches long. Big sister Hayden is very happy.

It's a kid explosion

It felt like our home exploded in children last night. Here is how it went:
2 kids at home
1 kid returned home
1 kid came back from college to visit
1 grandchild visiting
1 foster child
3 additional foster children.
-------
9 kids. Wow

Wonder why I am tired today.

UPDATE
- 1 went back to college
- 1 grandchild went home
-/+ 1 other fc came and went (24 hour respite)
---------------------
Down to 7 kids at home (and Friday morning there were 3). Getting everyone ready for school should be a riot!!!

Mid life?

Does starting TaeKwonDo at the age of 45 constitute a mid life crises. I don't think so. I is a lot of fun, great exercise and I get to do it with two of my kids.

Blue or Red

BRIGHAM YOUNG UNIVERSITY COUGARS (BLUE)
I graduated from BYU = 1 point
Kurt BA and MA from BYU = 2 points
Mom homecoming queen at BYU = 1 point
Wally played football and graduated from BYU = 2 points
BYU fans fanatical rating = 9 points
Mascot coolness = 8 points
Team color = 10 points
TOTAL POINTS FOR BYU = 33

UNIVERSITY OF NEBRASKA LINCOLN CORNHUSKERS (RED)
Kurt JD From UNL = 1 point
Heather graduated from UNL = 1 point
Husker fans fanatical rating = 10 points
Mascot coolness = 1 point
Team color = 3 points
TOTAL POINTS FOR UNL = 16

BYU BLUE ALL THE WAY!!!!!

Coming back - I think

I have been away from this blog for more than a year but I am going to try and come back. Since playing catch-up is nearly impossible I will just update the recent news.

Hayden turned one on August 14th. She is so adorable. Baby sister Hadley is due to arrive on this earth on October 20th. Heather is hoping she comes early even if it is a scheduled C-section.

David, Jasmine and I are learning TaeKwonDo. Kurt and Kurt II are already black belts so we have a lot of work to do to catch up. Brittany will also be starting soon. In August we all earned our yellow belts. I figure if I stick with it and test regularly I will get my black belt the week before I turn 47.

David and I are trying home school this year. He practically begged us so we are going to do it a year at time. So far it is going well.

Kurt was called as the Young Men's president last Sunday. I am excited for him and think he will really love it.

I am still in Cub Scouts and have made it known I never want to be released. Of course I will be someday but I can always try.

Cornell has started his first year at University of Nebraska at Kearney.

Which Disney Princess

You Are Pocahantas!

Free-spirited and wise. You have a strong passionate spirit that touches and changes all who know you. The wisdom and common sense that you have is really what guides you through life. Even so, you also have a very playful side that loves adventure and excitement.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

I HAVE RETIRED

After 20 years of doing foster care I have retired. Our last foster child returned home on May 30th and our license lapsed that day.

Three days before our retirement we received a phone call at 10:45pm and were asked if we could take two small children that were being pulled from their home by the Sheriff's department. I felft guilty at the time having to say no, but right now it feels good to be free of that pressure.

DH thinks I will last about three years before wanting to start again. I don't think so as I still have our two adopted daughter to raise who have serious mental health issues and will be a challenge. Plus our 8 year old gifted child (with all the challenges that comes with that)and our 17 year old soon to be senior. In August I will be a grandma and will probably be watching my granddaughter in her early years while my daughter and her husband finish school. So life will not be dull. We have agreed to do respite once in a while for other foster parents but that will only be for a few days here and there and will have to work around our schedules.

Blogthing - Music

What Your Taste in Music Says About You

Your musical tastes are upbeat and conventional. You are an easy going, optimistic person. Family and friends are very important to you. You enjoy caring for and helping other people. You thrive in a tranquil environment, and you do your best to keep things peaceful. You enjoy your life. You have your priorities straight.

What Does Your Taste in Music Say About You?

Math

Absolutely amazing!

Beauty of Math!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 1232
11111 x 1111 = 123432
111111 x 11111 = 12345432
1111111 x 111111 = 1234565432
11111111 x 1111111 = 123456765432
111111111 x 11111111 = 12345678765432
1111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321

Now, take a look at this...101%

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to

GIVE OVER 100%.

How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might helpanswer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

If:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And:

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But:
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:
L-O-V-E-O-F-G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!

The Retiree

It has been a long time since I posted here. For reasons beyond my control I am changing the focus of my blog. I will now have sayings, stories and funnies to keep people entertained and uplifted. So for my first funny here is the Retiree (military people will really appreciate this one):
-------------------------------------
A new retiree greeter at Wal-Mart just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, real sharp, so the Boss was in a quandary about how to deal with it.

Finally, one day he called him into the office for a talk."Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang up job, but your being late so often is quite bothersome."

"Yes, I know Boss, and I am working on it."

"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear. It's odd though,
your coming in late. I know you're retired from the Air Force. What did they
say if you came in late there?"

"They said, "Good morning, General."

Who's on first by Abbott and Costello

Abbott: Well Costello, I'm going to New York with you. You know Bucky Harris, the Yankee's manager, gave me a job as coach for as long as you're on the team.
Costello: Look Abbott, if you're the coach, you must know all the players.
Abbott: I certainly do.
Costello: Well you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team.
Abbott: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names.
Costello: You mean funny names?
Abbott: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean...
Costello: His brother Daffy.
Abbott: Daffy Dean...
Costello: And their French cousin.
Abbott: French?
Costello: Goofè.
Abbott: Goofè Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third...
Costello: That's what I want to find out.
Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.
Costello: Are you the manager?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: You gonna be the coach too?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: And you don't know the fellows' names?
Abbott: Well I should.
Costello: Well then who's on first?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: I mean the fellow's name.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy on first.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The first baseman.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy playing...
Abbott: Who is on first!
Costello: I'm asking YOU who's on first.
Abbott: That's the man's name.
Costello: That's who's name?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: That's who?
Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE
Costello: Look, you gotta first baseman?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: Who's playing first?
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?
Abbott: Every dollar of it.
Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy that gets...
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: Who gets the money...
Abbott: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
Costello: Whose wife?
Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE
Abbott: What's wrong with that?
Costello: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name?
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: How does he sign...
Abbott: That's how he signs it.
Costello: Who?
Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE
Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.
Abbott: No. What is on second base.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first.
Costello: One base at a time!
Abbott: Well, don't change the players around.
Costello: I'm not changing nobody!
Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.
Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base?
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: Ok.
Abbott: All right.
PAUSE
Costello: What's the guy's name on first base?
Abbott: No. What is on second.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott: He's on third, we're not talking about him.
Costello: Now how did I get on third base?
Abbott: Why you mentioned his name.
Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?
Abbott: No. Who's playing first.
Costello: What's on first?
Abbott: What's on second.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott: He's on third.
Costello: There I go, back on third again!
PAUSE
Costello: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it.
Abbott: All right, what do you want to know?
Costello: Now who's playing third base?
Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?
Costello: What am I putting on third.
Abbott: No. What is on second.
Costello: You don't want who on second?
Abbott: Who is on first.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott & Costello Together:Third base!
PAUSE
Costello: Look, you gotta outfield?
Abbott: Sure.
Costello: The left fielder's name?
Abbott: Why.
Costello: I just thought I'd ask you.
Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.
Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field.
Abbott: Who's playing first.
Costello: I'm not... stay out of the infield! I want to know what's the guy's name in left field?
Abbott: No, What is on second.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first!
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!
PAUSE
Costello: The left fielder's name?
Abbott: Why.
Costello: Because!
Abbott: Oh, he's centerfield.
PAUSE
Costello: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team?
Abbott: Sure.
Costello: The pitcher's name?
Abbott: Tomorrow.
Costello: You don't want to tell me today?
Abbott: I'm telling you now.
Costello: Then go ahead.
Abbott: Tomorrow!
Costello: What time?
Abbott: What time what?
Costello: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching?
Abbott: Now listen. Who is not pitching.
Costello: I'll break your arm, you say who's on first! I want to know what's the pitcher's name?
Abbott: What's on second.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!
PAUSE
Costello: Gotta a catcher?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: The catcher's name?
Abbott: Today.
Costello: Today, and tomorrow's pitching.
Abbott: Now you've got it.
Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team.
PAUSE
Costello: You know I'm a catcher too.
Abbott: So they tell me.
Costello: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow's pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw the guy out at first base. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who?
Abbott: Now that's the first thing you've said right.
Costello: I don't even know what I'm talking about!
PAUSE
Abbott: That's all you have to do.
Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base.
Abbott: Yes!
Costello: Now who's got it?
Abbott: Naturally.
PAUSE
Costello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. Now who has it?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Who?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Naturally?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.
Abbott: No you don't, you throw the ball to Who.
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's different.
Costello: That's what I said.
Abbott: You're not saying it...
Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally.
Abbott: You throw it to Who.
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: That's what I said!
Abbott: You ask me.
Costello: I throw the ball to who?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Now you ask me.
Abbott: You throw the ball to Who?
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third and I don't give a darn!
Abbott: What?
Costello: I said I don't give a darn!
Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop.

A One in a Million Shot

A SMILE FROM GOD

This picture came through my e-mail and I wanted to pass it on. I did not take it and would love to know who did. I bet when they looked at it they were suprised at what they captured.

Donny Osmond

I missed the Osmonds on the Oprah show but found this on YouTube. This is no longer available on YouTube, sorry

Ethics and Morals

This quote came from Dr. Donald "Ducky" Mallard (played by David McCullum) on the show NCIS. I thought it was quite thought provoking:

Ducky was asked the question what is the difference between ethics and morals. His answer:

"The ethical man knows he shouldn't cheat on his wife

wheras the moral man actually wouldn't"

Now, this is the Living Bible

His name is Bill. He has wild hair, wears a T-shirt with holes in it, jeans, and no shoes. This was literally his wardrobe for his entire four years of college. He is brilliant Kind of profound and very, very bright. He became a Christian while attending college.

Across the street from the campus is a well-dressed, very conservative church. They want to develop a ministry to the students but are not sure how to go about it.

One day Bill decides to go there. He walks in with no shoes, jeans, his T-shirt, and wild hair. The service has already started and so Bill starts down the aisle looking for a seat. The church is completely packed and he can't find a seat. By now, people are really looking a bit uncomfortable, but no one says anything.

Bill gets closer and closer and closer to the pulpit, and when he realizes there are no seats, he just squats down right on the carpet. By now the people are really uptight, and the tensionin the air is thick.

About this time, the minister realizes that from way at the back of the church, a deacon is slowly making his way toward Bill.

Now the deacon is in his eighties, has silver-gray hair, and a three-piece suit. A godly man, very elegant, very dignified, very courtly. He walks with a cane and, as he starts walking toward this boy, everyone is saying to themselves that you can't blame him for what he's going to do.

How can you expect a man of his age and of his background to understand some college kid on the floor?

It takes a long time for the man to reach the boy.

The church is utterly silent except for the clicking of the man's cane. All eyes are focused on him. You can't even hear anyone breathing. The minister can't even preach the sermon until the deacon does what he has to do.

And now they see this elderly man drop his cane on the floor. With great difficulty, he lowers himself and sits down next to Bill and worships with him so he won't be alone.

Everyone chokes up with emotion.

When the minister gains control, he says , "What I'm about to preach, you will never remember. What you have just seen, you will never forget."

They are married

After traveling 1800 miles in 70 hours Heather and Ben are married. Now we just have to get ready for the reception on Saturday.

The blogthing fun

Not a Jealous Bone in Your Body

You're secure, trusting, and giving with friends and lovers And while you may have been hurt before, you've bounced back You're generally happy with your life - and no one's grass is greener than yours One word of caution: some may see your lack of jealousy as indifference!

Are You A Jealous Woman?

I'm a fall

You Belong in Fall

Intelligent, introspective, and quite expressive at times... You appreciate the changes in color, climate, and mood that fall brings Whether you're carving wacky pumpkins or taking long drives, autumn is a favorite time of year for you

What Season Are You?